Embarrassment by Wendy Piercy

 

Embarrassment! 

I’m rushing out the front door late for a fashion show dressed in my finest suit, nylons and heels. I suddenly think “Wait! Did I put the keys in my purse?” knowing in my heart I probably didn’t. Frantically, I check my purse which contains every conceivable item one would need in an emergency - bandaids, scissors, EpiPen (fish allergy), aspirin, lipstick (!) - except house keys!

I review my options - I have to get into the house to retrieve the keys but the only possibility I can think of is to climb the Monterey Cypress tree adjacent to the house and jump onto the bedroom balcony where I can gain access through the balcony door. Simple. I reckon I’m fit enough to do this. I just have to remove my precious clothing including nylons leaving me in my bra and panties - not a pretty sight but I am not worried about that as our house is very private.

 Accessing the tree is easy from the rocks which surround it and I feel quite confident initially as I scale the first and second branches of the tree and my goal seems very achievable. I am pumped with adrenaline. I can do this! That is until I reach the level of the balcony and I realize that I will have to hop over a 3-foot gap! I am suddenly very aware of how high I am and recognize that, if I missed the jump, I would fall at least 40 feet to the rocks below. I am no longer feeling confident; panic is replacing bravado and my adrenalin high has been replaced by fear. I am afraid to jump and I’m afraid to retrace my steps for fear of falling.

Suddenly I hear someone working in the property next door and hope replaces fear. It is a young man doing some painting for my neighbour. I yell “Help!” a few times and am rewarded with “Where are you?” I try to explain my dilemma and entreat him to not laugh and definitely not look!

Thankfully he does neither as he helps me climb down the tree and then climbs back up with enthusiastic ease, hops over the balcony and into the house like a professional burglar. Moments later he opens the front for me and blushingly shrugs off my enthusiastic thanks.

A week later I am attending a financial planning meeting downtown when I spot this same young man in the room. He makes his way through the crowd to me and says, “Hi - I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!”  

Embarrassing?!!

Wendy Piercy